Vikki needs to get a handle to hold on to

"I can't leave. Where would I go? Who would take me in? No one. Because no one knows this....How can it hurt this bad? How can someone just take you like that and--how can you let something like that go? I mean what if they don't come back!? Then what? Then you're back to square one again, right? Alone. Again. Surprise? No...you knew....you KNEW that whole time that it was going to happen like this. But you wouldn't let it.

Why...why does it have to hurt so much? In the same place. All at once. Why doesn't it just rip me apart and be done with it? I guess that would just be too easy. To hell with it all. Then turn around and make another mistake. Nothing right. Nothing wrong. Which way is up? And for that matter which way am I? Too hard to tell anymore. I'm not sure if I even could. I can't give this up. It means too much to me. But I don't know how much longer I can stop myself from running...from breaking a promise. I don't know what I can take."